Oddities

I have to say that there has not been a single day since I became a mother that I have not noticed how strange and bizarre it is to be a parent. Each day Wyatt grows into himself a little bit more and becomes separate from me in increasingly dramatic ways.

Right now I can barely believe that there was a time when I carried him inside me and had him with me every second of every day. For 10 months we were never apart. Then there was a sudden and traumatic separation of two people that can't be equaled in any respect. I love watching my baby grow and become his own person. It's amazing to watch his little personality develop. He's starting to recognize his name and when I call him from across the room he looks up at me and smiles.

But he has this whole life of his own that already I am no part of! He goes to daycare and that is his thing...work is my thing, not as much fun I'm sure, but we each have a place we go that the other can't. Already he is his own person. When he was first born he was still kind of a part of me, he was still with me pretty much 24/7 and still totally dependent entirely on me for everything, there was no other person in the world who could satisfy all of his needs. He slept with me, ate with me, came everywhere (excluding the bathroom) with me, often wrapped snugly against my chest. But now, all those needs he has can be met by other people as well. And there are times that he prefers to not be in my lap while I do things. He would rather play in his jumparoo or lay on the floor playing with a toy while watching the latest episode of Dora the Explorer.

At times I can hardly even remember being pregnant, it's such a distant time now. And I wonder during these times who this alien child is that I am taking care of, how did he even get here? Thankfully all I have to do to remember is lift him into my arms or hear his throaty little laugh or see his eyes light up and his smile appear when I say his name, the name I chose for him after much thought and care and listening deep into myself to get a glimpse of his personality that was already starting to blossom even before he was born.

Wyatt Christopher.

I made you.

You are part of me, made up of the same stuff I am.

And you are totally your own person.