Frustrations

Being a woman, I will never understand the way men feel about the birth of a child. I know there are men who are excited and involved and just as invested as a mother is. But there are also those who have no interest in having their lives changed by a baby. Since I was the one whose body went through massive changes in a very small amount of time, I can't understand that. I had no choice but to have my life changed by my son, it was unavoidable.

I made the choice to be a single parent. I could have taken legal steps to force Wyatt's father to be a part of his life, at least financially. But instead I decided that Wyatt would be loved and cherished by plenty of people already in my life and we didn't need the hassle of trying to force someone to do something he didn't want to do. But I made this choice with a stipulation on his part! I told him he needed to have a document prepared and signed saying he was relinquishing his parental rights to me, he would make no future custody claims on Wyatt, his family would make no future claims either, and he would not oppose the adoption of Wyatt by a future spouse of mine.

Now I would think that if a man didn't want to be part of his child's life, he would be happy to prepare said documents and sign them before the baby was even born. But Wyatt's father is being so slow! He seems so uninterested that he's not even interested in making his disinterest formal and legal. And now he is saying his parents have concerns and reservations about signing. I guess they are part of the 1% of people who feel like everyone should just trust everyone else. Unfortunately events in my life have made me realize that no matter how well you know someone they can surprise you in the worst ways. And when it comes to my child I am not going to trust anyone when they promise they won't take him away from me.

I have offered over and over from early in my pregnancy to talk to his parents. I have told him many times to pass my email and phone number along to them so I can get to know them and see how involved in Wyatt's life they may want to be. But I have never heard from them! From what I can tell he never bothered to pass along my info at all. So when I talked to him yesterday and he was unable to at all explain his parents feels about the whole situation, why they talked to a lawyer, or what their concerns were, I got VERY irritated and frustrated. I began to push for him to just give me their number then and there so I could call them as soon as I hung up. Which he was very uncomfortable about.

I really don't know how to handle this. I need these things done. Wyatt is nearly 3 months old!!! I want to be sure people I have never met are not going to be showing up at my door claiming I won't let them see their grandson! I don't want to have to seek out legal help. I was really hoping to avoid hassle and stress. But I am starting to get the feeling things aren't going to happen like I wanted them to.