So my grandfather has been gone for 5 full days now. He finally passed on Tuesday the 26th. It was extreamly sad, but also good to know that his struggle is over. It's also good that my gramma can start putting her life back together instead of still spending all day in the hospital waiting to see what happens.
But it's one of those reminders of how confusing life can be. People are always saying you have to live every day like it's your last and to make sure to take time to enjoy things and appreciate people...I do try to do that to some extent. The hard part is that no matter what you do to try to make the most of the days, there is so much daily junk that has to be taken care of and it's so easy to get lost in that. No matter how much I want to fill my day with fun, there is laundry to do. No matter how badly I want to spend all my time with my friends, there is still bills to pay. Wyatt still needs to eat and be bathed, and so do I for that matter!
My gramma has seemed surprised at the out pouring of love and concern from the people she knows. While I am not surprised by that, I do understand how it can wear on you, how it's sometimes better to say thanks but no thanks. After Wyatt was born lots of people would talk about how they could bring me and my dad meals or come over to help clean or a variety of other things. I appreciated that to no end. It was wonderful to know that I was loved and that so many people already loved Wyatt. But I was much happier to just get in a routine of my own. I didn't want to learn to depend on that special treatment because I knew that sooner or later (probably sooner) people have to get back to their own lives. Because no matter how much you want to help the people you love...there is always laundry and bills and dirty dishes..........
So I try to love the little bit of time I have left with Wyatt before I go back to work and the daily grind really starts to take over.
1 comment:
People who are in your life love you and want to help if they can, when they can. It's humbling to be on the receiving end. Even more humbling is when you need help and have to ask. It's not because people won't help, they just don't know what you need. Please open your heart and give others opportunities to love and serve you in the exact ways you would love and serve them. It brings a measure of joy that can't be gotten any other way. And in many cases, it's contagious. Repeated acts of kindness aren't random...they are common and are a direct reaction from the initial time of serving.
You are really blessed to have that time to spend with Wyatt. He loves you and enjoys those precious moments, too. Enjoy and be happy! Ponder on all that you are thankful for...that will carry you into and through the daily grind. :) i love you. Mom
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